March 6th appt

     Yesterday, I went for my trial transfer. I did not know until I got there and dying to go to the bathroom that I was unable to do so before the procedure. They have to have a full bladder. They then had me sit in the exam room half naked, having a major hot flash, in a boiling hot room for an hour or a little more before a doctor came in. My mother went with me, and I had her cracking up, I guess it was nerves too. I got up and changed my own paper once because I was sweating some kind of awful and had soaked through that paper.
    When the doctor came in he explained that they did a practice to know exactly how my uterus was shaped and iron all the kink out because on the real day they want to be able to get the embryos into the catheter and implanted into your uterus in less than a minute. He said that he, the nurse, an embryologist and my husband would be in the room. My husband will have to dress out in scrubs to be with me. He said the embryos you be in an incubator being kept warm and in the dark simulating the womb. He said they would be transferring two embryos and I of course said that was fine with me in lightening speed.
     When doing the procedure, he said it went very well and my uterus was nice and it was so easy to insert the catheter. He did a quick measurement and it was over in a flash. It was very quick and was just like having an IUI done so it wasn't anything different from what I have already experienced so it went very smoothly.
     After the doctor finished he wanted to go ahead and do my baseline scan of my ovaries then instead of waiting until tomorrow. So after a short wait I went to another sonogram room. The tech was very nice and friendly. I loved her. She said I had a pretty uterus. :) I said, "thank you... I guess." She immediately asked if I had PCOS and I said yes. She said well you have quite a few follicles in your right ovary. I had 23, woohoo!! When she went to look at the left, it was hiding a bit and harder to see but she said I had a lot in there as well. After she got through counting, I didn't think to ask her the total in the left. I am just happy no matter what. It is all going so well. This appointment made me even more excited and made me realize that it is really happening!

My nurse called today, and since I had already done a couple things and my sonogram was good so they didn't need blood work in the morning so I get to leave a little later in the morning. We now go at 10:30 instead of 8:15. I am thankful for the extra sleep because I am so tired. So I will update you on tomorrow's visit and what will be added to my protocol tomorrow.

When I have a firm total on the funds raised yesterday, I will let you know. The part I know already was wonderful and show just how amazing people can be and how blessed we are by God! Please continue to support Rosie's in the future. No words can express my thankfulness. I just have to ask God to bless her sevenfold for the blessing Rose gave me yesterday.

It's happening so fast :)

     I am going to try and catch you all up to speed. I have been too busy to update.

Feb 20 - I started taking birth control pills, a prenatal vitamin, and metformin. I only take the birth control a number of days then stop. I will take the others for the whole cycle I believe.

Feb 25 - I ordered my medications and it was set to ship overnight. That total came to a little over $3400! Ouch!

Feb 26 - I received my medications. I added a Lupron injection to my protocol. I will take 10 units every night in the lower abdomen until i am told to decrease it.

Feb 28 - I hosted a Bunco party at Rosie's for a fundraiser. It was so much fun! I wanted to play so bad! We had great food and prizes. I am so thankful to all those that pitched in and helped make it a success!
 - I also took my last birth control pill on this day.

March 4 - Started spotting which is what should be happening. No worries!

March 6 - I am leaving in moments to go to Memphis to have my trial transfer. This will be a "practice run" for the doctors to checkout my uterus and plan where they will deposit the embryos in a couple weeks.
 - Also, Rosie's is having a fundraiser for me today. Select cupcakes will be sold to benefit us. The proceeds from all those sales will be donated to our IVF fund. We still need to raise a little less than $3000 to pay it all in full by Friday. So, please call and place your order and give them our names or go by and grab until 5 today!

Starting IVF

     I have never been so glad to finally start my cycle! I was told to call my doctor's nurse on my cycle day 1 to get my instructions and start my IVF cycle. I was excited to call and find out my next step. When I got the call back, the nurse gave me my instructions through March 8th. I will take a prenatal vitamin every day. I will start oral contraceptive (OCP...birth control) tomorrow and will continue through February 28th. I will start Lupron injections (to suppress the hypothalamic-pituitary control centers in the brain to prevent premature ovulation). I will take these injections in the lower abdomen every night starting on February 26th and continue until told otherwise. On March 8th, I will go to Memphis. My money and consent forms are due this day. My husband will have a semen analysis done in their office. I will have a sonogram, E2 (Estridiol) blood test, injection teaching and a trial transfer performed. I will also go to the surgery center to get anesthesia clearance for my egg retrieval and I will get the rest of my instructions too. Our egg retrieval will be scheduled the week of March 18th!
     I was so surprised that it will be so quick. I was also so happy to see how God is working things out. When I will be feeling the roughest and traveling to Memphis every other day, I will be on my spring break holiday. I was an emotional wreck this morning. I was excited and happy, with nerves, full of eagerness and crying too. I did an actual happy dance a couple of times in my seat at my conference today. It makes all the hard work of last week worth it! I have been working really hard to raise and save this money so I could start as soon as I got the green light. I am still $3,002.94 away for having it paid in full and its not due until March 8th. I can do this folks. God has been providing for me so much. It has blown my mind! A friend did a fundraiser for me last week and exceeded all our expectations. I even have someone, I do not even really know passing around Pampered Chef catalogs to help me raise money, and the donations from strangers is overwhelming. I have been blessed by the kindness of others!
     So I need to ask everyone I know to help me reach this goal. If you are able to help me in any way, find me on facebook, send me an email, call me. I will be doing a few more things to raise money and will be so grateful for the help. If you are planning to come to Bunco on Feb. 28th at Rosie's (6:30) Please register and pay your $20 by Feb. 24th. If you would like to gather a few Pampered Chef orders by February 28th, I have plenty of catalogs. It only takes $150 for me to place an order and my commission would be no less than $30 (two of my friends have almost earned me $500 this week). I am counting on God and the generosity of others. I don't like it to seem like I 'm begging but I'm just putting it out there. People don't know how to help if I don't. This $3,002.94 is just to cover my IVF, this doesn't even start to touch the time off and gas expenses from traveling back and forth. I hope to pay it forward one day like many people that have introduced themselves to me just because they know what it is like. Thank you and keep the prayers flowing constantly!

Getting good results

     Last Thursday, I went to get my day 3 blood work and sonogram done. I also got some other blood work done as well. He measured each ovary and my uterus and then he talked to me about sending my day 3 test for FSH, LH, AMH and Estradiol to a research program. This program is to be getting much more accurate hormone levels than most local labs. I also scheduled my appointment for my sonohysterogram for today.

    When I got there, my nurse had just received my results back from the research group and let me see them. It takes the values for FSH, Estridiol, LH, AMH, and Inhibin B and calculates and egg retrieval score. My score was a 14 which is in the good category and is average for people age 31-35. It also gave me graphs for how many eggs I am likely to produce to be retrieved. When the doctor came in he said it looked good and he though I had a really good chance with IVF.

     The sonohysterogram was not bad at all. No pain, just messy. I had in my head that the saline would be held in my uterus somehow but it actually comes out as he pushes more through the catheter. He took several images from the sonogram. There was something present in the pictures but he believed it to just be debris left over and he said it did not look like a polyp or anything that would make an embryo unable to attach. He believe the specialist would be good with it. They gave me a copy of all my results and said they would fax them to Memphis as well.

     Memphis gives you an itemized list of all blood test, procedures and classes that must be done before you have IVF and there were a few items on my list that I had not done yet. I called and double checked and the ones I have left will be done after I start the first part of your IVF protocol which is a certain number of birth control pills. She also said all of the could be scheduled all in one day since I have a longer drive. All I have to do now is wait for my next day 1! I will call them that day and get my pills! This will be a long 18 more days. I am so eager to start. I have got to slow down and be patient! J

     The only thing is. I need around $10,000 more dollars. I do not want to charge it or take out a loan. I would like to pay it out right and I know God will help provide. I will need the biggest portion in 18 days. I have got to check with her for the actual due date. I do not have to pay my surgery center fees and anesthesia fees until the day of the egg retrieval so that gives me a little bit longer to save that. I would not need it until the end of March.

I have a few things in the works to help me reach my goal:

     I have four people hosting Pampered Chef parties in February. You can host as well or 

     purchase some great cooking supplies to help me earn commission. April and Jessica are brides so if  

    you will be attending their wedding, I will have their wish lists!

     I have a friend who will be selling individually wrapped cupcakes and chocolate

     covered strawberries for Valentine’s day. I should have pictures up and order forms in

     the next two days. 

     I am planning on hosting a bunco party on February 28 (Thursday). It will be at   

     Rosie’s downtown at 6:30. $20 There will be food and prizes. You can sign up by

     shooting me a message on facebook or emailing me, I will have to have people reserve

     their spots and pre-pay to ensure I have enough people to complete the tables.

     I will possibly be doing a paint party if I can find someone who will do one as a 

     fundraiser.

I have an online fundraising site at http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/nobabybump/25567 that can be used to pay for your Valentine’s items or for the bunco party if you need to use a debit/credit or your paypal.

Memphis and Our Decision

     Our last attempt in December again did not end in a positive pregnancy test. We did start another round of medication. My results from the CBC came back normal so my doctor did not let me take Decadron this month due to the side effects I was having. We had some trouble getting an insemination appointment since there was lots of holiday time that the office was not open and my husband was working during the day that Monday so since our Memphis consultation was on Wednesday, I decided not to make an insemination appointment and see what we would find out in Memphis.

     We traveled to Memphis this past Wednesday. The doctor met with us and went sheet by sheet through our medical records and asked questions and took notes. He first looked at my husband’s records first. We learned something new while going through them. He explained how my husband’s morphology (their formation/shape) was not good as well. The doctor told us that he only had 3 in 100 (3%) sperm formed correctly. The doctor then took one of the semen analysis results and did some math to give us and idea of how many viable sperm he would have in a sample. For that analysis, my husband only had around 7,500 viable sperm. This sounds like a lot but most people have millions. From this information, he told us we would have to do a different form of In Vitro Fertilization(IVF). One with Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). He said we would be unable to perform standard IVF due to this low number of sperm. In standard IVF, the eggs are retrieved and the semen specimen is placed in a dish together and the sperm must penetrate and fertilize the egg on its own. When they perform this procedure, they need at least 15,000 sperm per egg. So my husband would not have enough to be placed with just one egg and we might have as many as 30 eggs. So with ICSI, individual sperm are chosen and then they are injected into the eggs.

     There are some risk we would be taking and most are the same as for any couple, but my PCOS lends me to a higher probability of suffering from Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. Basically, the doctor explained that when you take injectable gonadotropins (which help you produce and grow multiple follicles containing eggs) there is a chance when your ovaries are growing that your ovaries keep enlarging and growing and cause some significant side effects. He told us that we might want to do a “freeze all” method. This method includes doing the same protocol as usual but when it came time to do the embryo transfer you would freeze all embryos created and wait a month to let my ovaries reduce in size and calm down. I would then return a month later to have the thawed embryos implanted.

     With this news, we looked at statistics and cost. As of 2009-2010, this center had around a 60% pregnancy rate in women my age. If we use frozen embryos then it would rise to around 67%. He did say that ICSI and frozen embryos would push us to 70% or slightly more. I asked him about the effectiveness the first time and he was hopeful and said we have those same odds and their goal is to get us pregnant the first time. As far as cost, it looks like we would need around $13,500 for one cycle including a freezing fee. If we have enough embryos to develop, the fee is only around $3,000 for a frozen embryo transfer in case we have to try again or want a second child.

     So we have decided to go with IFV at this time. We know this is not 100% but we have faith in Him! We have a few pre-screeners we must do before we can be approved for our first cycle. My husband had a current semen analysis so he only has to be tested this coming week for syphilis, HIV -1 and -2, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C. I will had a pap smear and CBC that was current. I will have to get test for my blood type and RH, syphilis, HIV -1 and -2, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C, and a rubella titer. I will also have some ovarian reserve tests. This includes tests for Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) Luteinizing Hormone (LH). As well as a sonogram and blood test for Estradiol (E2) and Antimullerian Hormone (AMH) on day 3 of my next menses which will be around the 23^rd of this month. I will also have to have a sonohistogram performed between day 6 and 12.

     After these results are in, a decision will be made if we can or cannot start our first cycle. So it could possibly start mid-February. That is exciting! We just now have to work hard to secure the finances by then. So, I will be having fundraisers to help me raise $8,000 in one month since we already have around $5,000! So, if you have any ideas or would like to help me please just contact me.

    Before I end this post, let me say that I know some people do not support IVF or the freezing of embryos. We are all entitled to our thoughts and beliefs. I do want you to know that we are not entering this process with only the hopes of having a child and thinking into it any further. We know that major moral and ethical decisions must be made and we do not take those decisions lightly. We will be asking God to guide us. We must make these decisions before we start meds. This office has provided us consent forms to read so that we might discuss all the implications of certain procedures. So please pray for us as we try to make such decisions.

A gift from a friend

     A coworker brought me a book to school yesterday. She brought me a copy of A Cord of Three Strands by Sara W. Berry and Tricia J. Robbins. I read the whole thing yesterday.It is the story of Tricia, Peggy, and Hilarie. I do not want to give too much away in case some of you would like to read it, but it it’s the story of Tricia’s life and how she came to place a child through adoption. Peggy is the adoptive mother, who struggled and waited 18 years for a child. Hilarie, is their child. This is based on a true story of a woman (Tricia) that lives in our surrounding area.

     I thought I would include some excerpts that I felt like I or others like me might relate to.

Page 58-59

     Peggy and Mitch had met in college. They started out as very good friend’ Their friendship developed over time into a deep love that many of their friends envied. One of Peggy’s friends had once, confidentially, asked her. How are you two so close? I see what you and Mitch have together and I want that for my marriage.”

     Peggy had nodded in understanding. She had never really compared her marriage to ohers’, but in that moment, she understood her friend’s question. She replied, “Yes, Mitch and I are very close. I would like to say that we are just the fairy tale couple. But the truth is, it’s been the hardship in our lives that have joined us so tightly together. Without the hardship, the really, really difficult times, I think we would be just like most couples. But when life is difficult you have a chice. It can make you stronger, closer, more intense, or it cn tear you apart. We chose to draw together, with God’s help. That is why we are so close.”

I hope that my husband and I will look back and be able to say the same thing. The toll something of this nature can take on a marriage is not conceivable by some. It can hurt it or strain it in ways you would have never thought! I do know that it has helped us learn more about communication and patience with one another. We are in this together as a couple and will conquer this as a couple. I can only hope that my friends struggling with this as well are able to draw closer to each other.

Next, is a prayer said by Shane in the book. I need to say this always not just concerning infertility. I need to let go of my control and just listen and follow.

Page 85

“I surrender myself to You, Lord Jesus. Give me ears to hear You and a heart to follow you. Show me the way You have prepared for me… And I will follow. Take away my desires and give me Yours alone, Lord. I surrender myself to You.”

Lastly, I needed to be reminded of this verse.

Page 109

Philippians 4:6, 7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Adoption progress

I am feeling that God is leading us more toward adoption. Too many things have been happening lately that point us more toward adoption. We have not filled out any paper work or anything thing until we have our IVF consultation in January. I am not able to speak to any certain situation or reveal specific information but in the last three weeks we have had three separate cases of individuals with questions concerning a private adoption with  women in our area. If one of these situations worked out, it would be the most awesome experience and a miracle! My husband and I, after the first talk, felt like it would be such an answered prayer. I do not know these women personally but I pray for them and that the make the right decision for them. I pray that God helps them realize that the child deserves a chance at life whether they choose to parent or create an adoption plan.

     They all have ideas of their wants, desires, and dreams for their unborn child. I just hope that they choose the perfect family for them. I would love for them to know that if that decision does not involve our family then I understand and her happiness with her decision is the up-most importance. I can only imagine how the process would look if it was me on the other side. I know would want my wishes fulfilled. I think its important that if we were going to have a semi-open or open adoption, we would like it to be with someone who believed in us and trusted us completely to raise their child.